Honesty hour Have you ever found yourself smiling at something only because others were laughing around you? Or did you pretend to understand a joke at a comedy club even though it didn’t make sense to you? No?
I know I’m not the only one who hasn’t understood the joke, perhaps more than once, even if you won’t acknowledge it. In a topic on the “Movies” subreddit, a number of people admitted to doing so. Many netizens shared their experiences when the user “ferrous_second_vowel” questioned them what movie jokes they hadn’t heard till years later. To locate them on the list below, scroll down!
1.
Louis Tully, the Keymaster in Ghostbusters, repeatedly locked himself out of his flat.
Geoffrey Spaulding:
I just received that after 39 f**king years.
Truve Carteeg:
Realising that the Gatekeeper and Keymaster titles were actually referring to privates took me a lifetime to mature.
2.
Kenickie calls a condom a “25 cent insurance policy” in the Grease scene.
3.
values of the Addams family. “I’ve got ’em all,” Wednesday’s sort-of-boyfriend says as he shows her his collection of serial killer baseball cards. The only things I’m missing are that Zodiac guy and Jack the Ripper.
Serial killers Jack the Ripper and the Zodiac were never apprehended.
4.
I didn’t understand why Noah’s Arcade advertises that they had two of every game until I watched Wayne’s World for thirty years. You know. similar to Noah’s Arc.
5.
The man listening to “My Back Door” by Creedence following a physical.
I’m Not That Drunk:
I made the link when I was today’s age.
6.
Lightning informs Mater that Doc has won the Piston Cup three times in “Cars.”
“He did what in his cup?!” is Mater’s reply.
7.
“You’re not a postal worker, are you?” the salesman asks the hunter after he purchases the pistol in Jumanji. I didn’t know what “going postal” meant, so I suppose I assumed he was just making fun of his attire.
8.
When Daniel (playing Doubtfire) is discussing Miranda with Stuart, Mrs. Doubtfire says, “She has a power tool in the bedroom.” She can break sidewalks with her personal jackhammer! That she hasn’t chipped her teeth astounds me.
I was eight years old when this movie came out, so I didn’t enquire about vibrators because I didn’t know about them. At the time, my best assumption was that he was attempting to frighten Stuart by claiming that she had a weapon, such as a baseball bat or gun next to the bed.
9.
“I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.”
“What’s the other one named?”
I didn’t understand the joke until I was thirty years old, yet I first saw Mary Poppins when I was four.
10.
Toy Story.
Buzz: “I believe space ranger is the word you’re looking for.”
Woody: “There are preschool toys here, so I can’t say the word I’m looking for.”
11.
Have you been on a shrimp boat before?
“No, I was on a very large boat.”
I think I spent 20 years and 60 watches on this one, lol.
Jack Ragz:
Forrest believes Bubba is asking if he has ever been on a very small boat when he asks if he has ever been on ‘a true shrimp boat’.
12.
The Zero to Hero song is heard in a brief excerpt in Disney’s Hercules:
More than royalties and appearance fees
Our Herc needed to burn money.
Once again wealthy and well-known
“What’s a Grecian urn?” he may ask.
In the 1990s, this alludes to a very old Vaudeville joke that was in the public consciousness. The joke proceeds as follows:
“My wife brought home a Grecian urn last night.”
“What’s a Grecian urn?”
“About $25 a week, unless he owns the restaurant.”
13.
When Nature Calls, Ace Ventura. Not that he was meditating.
Jack Ragz:
“I get a little agitated if I don’t complete my meditation. Cranky.
14.
When Shrek and Donkey arrive at the enormous castle in the first Shrek film, Shrek asks, “You think he’s compensating for something?”
15.
South Park’s title is “Bigger, Longer, Uncut.”
About ten years after the film’s release, it came as a shock.
Have you ever been to a party when the conversation is waning?
Or perhaps you’re out on a date and would like to make an impression that goes a little beyond the typical small talk?
We’ve all been there, and the ideal joke is the best way to start a conversation.
When you need to lighten the mood, make people laugh, or just show off your quick wit, this collection of adult jokes is your go-to tool.
There is a joke here for every circumstance, ranging from goofy one-liners that will turn up the charm to dad jokes that will make your friends groan (and secretly love you for it) and some dark humor for those who prefer their laughs with a twist.
Get ready to be the life of the party by reading through this ultimate list of jokes, whether you’re trying to keep things lighthearted at work, impress someone on a first date, or simply amuse yourself on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Funny Jokes For Adults
“I informed my supervisor that I needed a raise because three businesses were pursuing me. It turns out that the water, gas, and electricity corporations are to blame.
“I have three folders: ‘Read Later,’ ‘Read Even Later,’ and ‘Probably Never Read.’” I adore email so much.
At 4 p.m., I always greet my coworker with “good morning.” Having someone as awful at mornings as I am is pleasant!
“My wife and I are completely in agreement. She doesn’t understand what I do, and I don’t understand what she says.
“Online dating is similar to searching Amazon for your soul mate: you never know what you’re going to find, but it’s all about adding items to your cart.”
“I inquired about my girlfriend’s birthday wishes. Give me a surprise, she said. I left after locking her in the car.
My computer froze when I told it I wanted a break. What a passive-aggressive tactic!
“I consider my phone to be my best friend.” Even though we spend every day together, it still automatically changes “you’re” to “your.”
“I get reminders to buy groceries since my smart fridge is so intelligent. If only it could also cover them.
“When my back started to hurt more than usual, I realized I was getting older.”
Half of my buddies are getting married, and the other half are purchasing motorcycles, so I’m at that awkward age.
“A fun night with a book, a glass of wine, and the hope that you won’t go to sleep before 9 p.m. is a sign that you’re an adult.”
“I’m eating only seafood. I consume food when I see it.
“I enjoy coffee almost as much as I enjoy mornings. not present until 10:30 in the morning.
“Last night, I attempted a new recipe. Although the smoke alarm disagreed, it was excellent.
“My favorite workout is a hybrid of the lunge and the crunch. I refer to it as lunch.
“I have a six-pack. I store it under my one-pack for protection.
I’m not a runner. Something is undoubtedly chasing me, so if you ever see me running, you better run too.
“Because it was less expensive than therapy, I purchased a travel-sized toothpaste collection.”
“I love staying in hotels because they encourage eating in bed and don’t require you to make the bed.”
“The finest is traveling. You can get lost, go somewhere new, and still find yourself at a Starbucks.
“I have excellent money management skills. I put some away for Amazon Prime and the remainder for emergencies.
“I enjoy filing my taxes,” no one ever stated.
“I’m saving a lot of money. Every time I pass a deal, I avoid going inside and save 100%.
“My cat wakes me up early, is loud, and is unstoppable, just like my alarm clock.”
I questioned my dog about the meaning of two minus two. He remained silent. He is a good guy.
“It’s likely that dogs would send all of the messages that cats delete if they could text.”
“We are just like celebrities. However, their coffee costs $10, and they are more well-known and wealthy.
“I watched a procrastinating documentary on Netflix. I’ll complete it tomorrow.
“I tried that trendy new water.” Although I have less money in my wallet, it tastes just like the old water.
Dad Jokes For Adults
I advised my wife to accept her errors. She hugged me.
I was asked by my manager why I only get sick during the week. It’s my weekend immune system, I told him.
The married couple went to the gym together, but why? because they desired to resolve their differences.
What distinguishes a new puppy from a new husband? The dog still gets excited to see you a year later.
The banker changed careers, but why? He became disinterested.
I was once an ear-trained pianist. Now, though, I use my hands.
I have a social media addiction, according to my therapist. I dislike his position.
The coffee filed a police report, but why? It was robbed.
To the bottle opener, what did the wine say? “You make me whole.” I’m currently reading an antigravity book. There is no way to put it down.
For what reason did the scarecrow receive a prize? since he was exceptional in his specialty.
Since I have three firms pursuing me, I told my supervisor that I wanted a raise. When he inquired who, I replied that it was the cable, electric, and gas companies.
What made the math book depressing? due to the fact that it had too many issues.
In the past, I believed that I was indecisive. I’m not so sure now.
Why don’t oysters make charitable contributions? since shellfish are what they are.
I attempted to form a professional team for hide-and-seek. It didn’t, however, work out. You can’t find good players.
How is Moses’ coffee made? Hebrews it.
All night long, I wondered where the sun had disappeared to. And then I realized.
Why are there only two doors on chicken coops? Because they would be chicken sedans if they had four.
I should practice lunges to keep in shape, according to my wife. That would be a significant advancement.
For what reason do cows have hooves rather than feet? due of their lactose.
A drug dealer sold me some shoes. I was tripping all day long, but I’m not sure what he laced them with.
What was said between the two hats? “You remain here, and I’ll continue.”
What made the invisible man decline the offer of employment? He was unable to envision himself doing it.
How is a penguin’s home constructed? Igloos it all together.
I’m reading a Braille horror story. I sense that something horrible is about to happen.
What sounds like a parrot and is orange? A carrot.
What prevented the skeleton from attending the celebration? He didn’t have a companion.
The golfer brought two pairs of pants, but why? If he gets a hole in one, that is.
What is the password for Forrest Gump? Forest 1.
Knock Knock Jokes For Adults
Knock, knock. Who is present? A yacht. Who is a yacht? I’m not very good at these jokes, as you should already know, Yacht!
Knock, knock. Who is present? needle. Who needs a needle? Little assistance is needed to open this door!
Knock, knock. Who is present? “Cow says.” Who does the cow say? No, you fool! The cow says “mooooo!”
Knock, knock. Who is present? Money. Who is Cash? I would love some peanuts, but no thanks!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Olive. Who is Olive? Olive, you are missed by me!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Amish. Who are the Amish? Really? You don’t appear to be a shoe!
Knock, knock. Who is present? honeydew. Who is Honeydew? You know how to fix this, honeydew?
Knock, knock. Who is present? Oh no. Who is Boo? Because it’s only a joke, don’t cry!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Atch. Who is Atch? God bless you!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Prepare food. Who is the cook? Make a doodle doodle!
Knock, knock. Who is present? A canoe. Who is the canoe? Can I get help with my homework from Canoe?
Knock, knock. Who is present? Harry. Who is Harry? Get up and answer the door, Harry!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Howard. Who is Howard? Do you like a huge hug, Howard?
Knock, knock. Who is present? A doughnut. Who is the doughnut? Don’t forget to pack the snacks, doughnut!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Nana. Who is Nana? Your business, Nana!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Butter. Who is Butter? It’s me, Butter! Open the door!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Foods. Who are the dishes? It’s a pleasant place you have here!
Knock, knock. Who is present? wooden shoe. Who is the wooden shoe? I’d like to know about wooden shoes!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Leash. Who is the leash? You can let me in with a leash!
Knock, knock. Who is present? Wire. Who is the wire? Did you come to knock on my door?
Flirty Jokes For Adults
Do you work as a magician? Because everyone else vanishes when I gaze upon you.
Can I call you mine, or do you have a name? Since I’ve been looking for anything that suits perfectly.
Is Google your name? Because everything I’ve been looking for is in you.
Are you a bonfire? I want more since you’re attractive.
You would be a cute-cumber if you were a vegetable. And you would be a great apple if you were a fruit.
Do you have Wi-Fi? since I sense a connection.
Have you got a map? I simply lose myself in your gaze.
You would be a weapon of mass seduction if appearances could murder.
Do you speak French? Eiffel for you, that is.
Is there a Band-Aid on you? because I fell for you and merely grazed my knee.
Do you have a bank loan? Because I’m interested in you!
Are you an artist? because I was just drawn to you.
Does your father box? Because of how amazing you are!
Are you a fan of raisins? What about going on a date?
You would be an acute triangle if you were one.
Is your name Chapstick? Because you’re da balm!
Is Campbell your last name? Because of how good you are!
Are you the sea? since I’m at sea and lost.
Would you be able to take me to the doctor? because I fell in love with you and broke my leg.
Are you the sun? since you make my day better.
I would send you a flurry of kisses if they were snowflakes.
Do you go by Lightning? Because every time I see you, my heart races.
